


As The World Caves In

by Sam_Nook



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: 100wordsprompts, Character Study, Friendship, Gift, M/M, RusAme, Second Chances, Ship Study, prompt was chance, relationship, talks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:16:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26656507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sam_Nook/pseuds/Sam_Nook
Summary: Alfred stared at Ivan for a moment and fixed his tie before leaving the room. When Ivan sat back on the bed, it's cold.
Relationships: America/Russia (Hetalia)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	As The World Caves In

**Author's Note:**

> Random prompt thirteen: chance.

When it came down to it, there wasn't much of a difference between himself and Ivan. They were both just people who had too many demons that they fought to control. Alfred just did a better job of hiding the struggle. 

As he stared down at the abandoned full cup of whiskey, he briefly considered how ironic their situation was. It seemed they could only sit together in some semblance of peace when both of them were half-drunk. The silence was thick, and it seemed to be stuck in Alfred's throat when he did try to speak. 

"We should do this more." Alfred managed, his eyes glued to the condensation forming on the glass. 

"Get drunk?" Ivan mused, cooly sipping at his vodka. "I am certain, America, that you know all my secrets. We spent decades staring into each other's souls with our hands wrapped around our necks." 

Alfred stared at him. "Do you really have such low faith in me? I'm talking about hanging out. Jeez, we are allies now, you know."

"Allies and friends are not the same thing," Ivan offered him an unreadable smile. 

"Don't you want to be?" The words slipped out of Alfred's mouth before he could think about what he was saying. Alfred pursed his lips, internally flailing around for the control he just lost. He felt hot and shakily gulped down the whiskey that burned and cooled his throat. At least he could blame it on the alcohol. 

Ivan regarded him with a silent, empty expression. Alfred couldn't read it. "There are many things I'd like us to be." 

He set down his empty glass and a few dollars, and Alfred watched him leave with a confused frown and even more confusing feelings. He wondered when their relationship had gotten this complicated. 

It had always been, he decided as he gulped down another glass of whiskey. 

**~~**

"It haunts you, doesn't it?" Alfred's voice is a whisper as he waited by the door. 

Ivan doesn't look away from his spot by the window. It is snowing, almost a blizzard, he is used to it. He pondered Alfred's question for a moment before slipping the curtains closed. "As all history does, immortality does not mean safety from living." 

"What did you see?" Alfred closed the door, leaving the room dark except for the single candle on the nightstand. It flickered as Alfred crept close. Ivan did not answer, but Alfred could see the answer in his tightened grip on the curtains. "Will you ever tell me?"

Ivan does not answer that question either. There is nothing to tell. They both have their long list of demons and grievances that they cannot escape. He only turned away from the black curtain as Alfred led him to the bed. 

**~~**

Alfred doesn't like looking into the past. It only reminded him of his mistakes, and looking into the future is much more comfortable. At least, it was easier for him, but his kind was made of history. It was hard to ignore it, no matter how hard they tried. Ignoring history was a mistake no man made twice, after all. 

"You need to get ready; we cannot arrive together." Ivan's gaze met his in the mirror as Ivan adjusted his tie. Alfred knew Ivan was right. Their relationship was changing, and it was complicated; they did not need any nation messing with it. Still, he wanted to protest. They had time.

"I'll leave before you know it, don't worry, Russia." The word feels foreign against his tongue after the intimacy of his human name. 

"Last night, what you were thinking about, did I do it?" Alfred sat up, the blankets spilling onto the floor. 

"No," Ivan lied.

"I'm sorry." The apology seemed fake, but Alfred's gaze is sincere. They both are vulnerable; there is no shame in that now. 

"There is no need to apologize, what happened is history, and nothing can be done about it." 

That isn't true; they both know that, but neither of them really know how to proceed with the conversation. They have been battling and defensive for too long. It's been ingrained in them never to apologize or show vulnerability. 

Alfred stared at Ivan for a moment and fixed his tie before leaving the room. When Ivan sat back on the bed, it's cold. 

**~~**

Ivan joined him at the bar for the second night in the row. It's more natural now. Neither of them spoke as they watch the people pass by the small bar as the sunset ushered them home. Alfred hasn't touched his whiskey, and Ivan's vodka has been neglected at the edge of the table.

"You're not drinking," Ivan noted with observation. 

"I don't think we need it."

Alfred wasn't exactly sure why he said that. He wondered if they are more comfortable with where they were at in their rebuilt relationship. A sort of friendship that they tolerated, a line they toed in the hopes that no one crossed it. They already had, and it seemed both of them offered second chances—a second chance at what they had. 

"Next time, let's go somewhere better." Alfred finally settled on saying. The silence isn't pressing, but somewhat comforting. "Let's go watch the stars or something, yeah?"

It's a peace offering of sorts, they both knew that. 

"And after that, a wild field of sunflowers," Ivan added. Perhaps they were learning to be vulnerable, to be human again. Immortality was only easy when you stopped looking into the past. 


End file.
